The entire replacement referee situation seems to have reached a tipping point with last night's "Well-Call-It-A-Catch-If-Golden-Tate-Can-Hug-M.D.-Jennings-In-The-Endzone" fiasco. Thank God. There is no doubt in my mind these refs directly had a hand in my players doing awful this week. Could you imagine the stress that must've been on these guys. Going out there, afraid to do anything really. For fear they might get hurt, or worse, wrongly penalized. We can talk more about these poopy refs later. Next week will be better.
Until then...here's the lineup.
Starting Lineup (Howard's Heroes)
QB- Cam Newton 242 Pass Yds, 3 Int, 6 Rush Yds, 1 Rush TD 21.8
QB- Robert Griffin III 221 Pass Yds, 1 Pass TD, 85 Rush Yds, 1 Rush TD 40.6
RB- Darren McFadden 113 Rush Yds, 1 Rush TD, 2 Rec Yds 34.5
RB- Reggie Bush 61 Rush Yds, 1 Rec Yd 6.2
WR- Brandon LaFell 27 Rec Yds 2.7
WR- Danny Amendola 66 Rec Yds 6.6
WR- Victor Cruz 42 Rec Yds 4.2
TE- Jermichael Finley 60 Rec Yds 6.0
TE- Brandon Pettigrew 61 Rec Yds, 1 Fum 4.1
FLEX- Darren Sproles 62 Rush Yds 6.2
K- David Akers 1 PAT, 2 20-29, 1 Miss 40-49 7.0
Defense- Green Bay Packers 14 Pts, 1 Sck 2.0
DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO THIS LEAGUE, REPLACEMENT REFS?!
You know when a dog's owner leaves the house on vacation, then the dog poops everywhere and chews up the furniture? That dog knows something is wrong. It wants to be happy but it just misses its owner so damn bad. All of my players (besides RGIII and Run DMC) obviously just had some Week 3 anxiety from their old friendly referees being on strike. This week I'm letting them sleep in the bed with me and giving them all Beggin' Strips. We should be fine.
As far as my lineup goes I made a few slight changes. Garcon is still injured on my bench. Apparently the man has trench foot or something, I don't know what's going on with him. So anyway, I started the record-breaking Danny Amendola. This week the only thing he broke was my heart. At tight-end I picked up Jermichael Finley OFF THE WAIVERS (roommate got tired of having like 27 Packers on his team and gave me the tip-off). He didn't put up great numbers, but then again, neither did the Packers. Him and Pettigrew are both getting a lot of targets so I think I'll keep them around. For now...
I hate to take all the blame off of myself, REPLACEMENT REFS, so let me tell you how I screwed up this week.
Dexter's Screw Up Of The Week
Eric Decker? - He got 136 yards receiving (which is 23.6 points after a 100-yard game bonus), but why would I know that? Manning has been hitting Demaryius Thomas more than (insert any celebrity domestic violence joke here). You picked Chris Brown didn't you? But he has been hitting him a lot! I just figured Amendola might go off again, Victor Cruz would salsa dance a couple of times, and LaFell (and the entire Panthers offense) wouldn't take a huge dump on the field.
So yea, that one was probably my screw up, but I'm still not taking the blame for losing. I can't read minds. I'm not Miss Cleo. Wait...you don't know who Miss Cleo is?
If you're out there Miss, I could really use your help this week. Is Reggie Bush's knee ever going to not be bum? Check them tarot card and call me, babes.
Wanna see the team I played?
The Bad Guys (GOB All Stars)
QB- Peyton Manning 330 Pass Yds, 2 Pass TD 55.0
QB- Andrew Luck 313 Pass Yds, 2 Pass TD, 1 Int, 50 Rush Yds 58.3
RB- Ryan Matthews 44 Rush Yds, 1 Fum, 32 Rec Yds 5.6
RB- Stevan Ridley 37 Rush Yds 3.7
WR- Dez Bryant 62 Rec Yds 6.2
WR- Brandon Marshall 71 Rec Yds 7.1
WR- Julio Jones 67 Rec Yds, 1 Rec TD 12.7
TE- Jacob Tamme 31 Rec Yds 3.1
TE- Antonio Gates 22 Rec Yds 2.2
FLEX- Percy Harvin 89 Rec Yds, 9 Rush Yds 9.8
K- Dan Bailey 1 PAT, 2 20-29, 1 30-39 11.0
Defense- Detroit Lions 38 Pts, 2 Fum 0.0
As you can see, I played a bunch of bums this week. I don't know if this made it easier to swallow, knowing it was a fluke, or if it made me think the Football Gods were out to get me. Either way, the GOB All Stars got the better of me. But I'm not hanging my head. NOT HOWARD'S HEROES!
Fun Fact: My friend Kyle got his fantasy name, the "GOB All Stars", from the old Dukes of Hazard television show. Bo and Luke Duke were famously referred to as "The Good Ol' Boys" by American country singer, Waylon Jennings in the theme song. It was also the nickname for the group of guys I ran around with in high school and still hang out with today. Four of those friends foolishly decided to get "Good Ol' Boy" tattoos, which will be engraved on their skin for forever and eternity. That was one of the funnest fun facts you will ever read. Real behind-the-scenes stuff...
Kyle's Screw Up Of The Week
Ehh - He could've started Antonio Brown and squeezed some more points out of one of those receiver positions, but he really had all his best guys out there. I'd say his biggest mistake just come from his continual day-to-day choices (remember the "Good Ol' Boys" tattoo?). Or maybe his screw up came on draft day, which he must've been ridiculously drunk for. He drafted Ryan Matthews with the 8th pick and Peyton Manning with the 9th. But I'm not here to be blasphemous, Kyle fair and square fluked me this week.
Damn those refs! The Heroes will rise again. Until then...
Howard's Heroes: 141.9 GOB All Stars: 174.7
Howard's Heroes 2-1
If you want to check on how drastically my team underachieved, check out last weeks score we posted. Ouch.
Still love the humor, especially the Chris Brown joke. I like to believe I have been hurt by the refs as well with franchise player Aaron Rogers getting me single digits twice this year already. Keep it up
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